Picture this: a Zoom call set for 4 PM, retired President Uhuru Kenyatta ready to chair, and a slew of opposition bigwigs poised to click ‘Join Meeting.’ But just as the plot thickens, the master of political survival, Raila Odinga, pulls a fast one and ghosted the meeting. What happened, you ask? Well, grab your popcorn, folks, because this is the stuff of Kenyan political drama.
When Zoom Turned into a Mutiny
The stage was set for what was supposed to be a routine Azimio la Umoja coalition meeting, but alas, nothing in Kenyan politics is ever routine. Raila Odinga, the seasoned opposition maestro, got wind of a sinister plot brewing in the virtual halls of Zoom. Word on the street (or rather, the corridors of political power) was that Kalonzo Musyoka, the Wiper boss, was ready to leapfrog to the helm, pushing Raila out faster than a Kenyan matatu on a free highway.
Raila had originally RSVP’d to the meeting, signaling his intent to attend. But as the hour drew near, the veteran politician suddenly developed what we can only describe as a severe case of "political flu." The symptoms? A refusal to be dethroned from his seat at the head of the Azimio table.
Uhuru’s Plan Goes Haywire
Former President Uhuru Kenyatta, now the chairperson of the Azimio La Umoja One Kenya coalition party, had organized the meeting with the intention of closing the widening cracks within the opposition. Little did he know, he was about to step into a hornet's nest.
Just hours before the meeting, whispers reached Raila’s camp that this wasn’t just another Zoom call. Oh no, this was an attempted coup—Azimio style. Raila’s trusted allies, smelling the proverbial rat, advised their leader to bail. And bail he did. Cue the panic as ODM officials scrambled to derail what they saw as an underhanded attempt to replace Raila with Kalonzo.
ODM chairperson Gladys Wanga, flanked by Raila loyalists like Vihiga Senator Godfrey Osotsi and political affairs secretary Rosa Buyu, rushed to call a press briefing. They blasted the meeting as an illegal gathering, devoid of the approval of the coalition’s secretary general, Junet Mohamed—Raila’s right-hand man and certified keeper of all things politically sacred in Azimio.
“The law is clear,” declared Wanga, a mix of outrage and bemusement playing on her face. “Any formal meeting of the Azimio council must be pre-cleared with ODM. This, ladies and gentlemen, is not a meeting, it’s a mutiny!”
The Plot Thickens: Kalonzo’s Gambit
While Raila’s camp was busy throwing spanners in the works, Kalonzo and his supporters were ready to hit ‘Send’ on a new Azimio agenda—one that didn’t include Raila as the opposition’s frontman. With Raila allegedly eyeing a cushy gig as Chairperson of the African Union Commission, Kalonzo’s crew figured it was high time to start preparing for 2027 without him.
Jubilee Secretary General Jeremiah Kioni, no stranger to political machinations, had this to say: “Raila’s headed to Addis Ababa, and we’re sticking around to keep things in check here. Kalonzo’s our guy now.”
Even Eugene Wamalwa of DAP-K, another notable face in the opposition, chimed in. “Raila’s off to greener pastures at the AU, and we’re staying behind to keep the government on its toes. With Kalonzo leading us, we’re the people’s opposition!”
The Aftermath
As the dust settles on this latest episode of Azimio drama, one thing is clear: Raila Odinga is still very much in the game, and it’ll take more than a Zoom meeting to unseat him. Whether or not this is the beginning of the end for his reign as the opposition’s leader, one can only guess. But for now, Kalonzo and crew will have to shelve their ambitions, at least until Raila decides the coast is clear.
Stay tuned to Githeri Media: where we don’t just serve beans, we spill them too.
